First let me say that I think what Mr. McDaniels is doing is incredible and something that I know is needed and I wish him the continued success in his life and with his mission.
My name is Tierekka Walker, I am a 35 year old black man who is now married and a father of 2 handsome young men. My journey started in February 1972 in Baltimore, MD. I was born to woman by the name of Priscilla Eddy and Maurice Micheal Tyler, from my understanding and from what I have gathered my biological mother was a very intelligent person with a bright future that her family believed would lead her to college. My biological father was a stand out athlete that had just been drafted and was headed to the NFL. I've never in my life met my biological father, I have however met my biological mother and I remember our early time together vividly. For whatever reason my biological parents didn't work out, which left the responsibility on my biological mother. When I was born I didn't have the last name of either of my parents nor was it of any of my relatives. I assume through the pressures and frustrations of being a young single parent my biological mother took her frustrations out on me. There were incidents of physical abuse, times where I had been left as a toddler in an apartment for hours even days with either a total stranger or by myself and without food. I remember a relative telling me of a situation, where a total stranger had answered the phone in the apartment one time and explaining to them that they didn't know where my biological mother was or how long she had been gone but that her child was there and was eating bugs and had been in a soiled diaper.
My biological mother for a period of time had moved in with her aunt, whom I was lead to believe was my grandmother. I have never met my biological grandparents from either side of my biological parents. So my biological mother lived with her aunt for a period of time and she would come and go as she pleased and most of the time her aunt whom I called "GrandMa" took care of me and that's whom I began to grow and love. Well in 1976 my biological mother decided to enlist in the Army, now of course at that time I have no knowledge of what my biological mother's options were for a woman entering the military but later in life I would find them out. So my biological mother goes off to basic training and I remember as I got older that "Grand Ma" said she didn't know where she had gone, it was common for her to pick up and leave and not return for days on end, this time just seemed like an extended version of her normal behavior. However when my biological mother returned, she had dropped the news on her aunt and husband and other family members who had been helping with taking care of me. Then at that point she had informed them that she was putting me into foster care. My grandparents and other family members were totally against it and had tried to convince her to let me stay with them but her mind was made up and she had already started the process.
I remember the day a sky blue Volkswagen beetle bug showed up and a white woman came to my grandmothers house, I remember my biological mother had me dressed and a red suit case was packed.
I remember the arguing that was going on between my biological mother and my grandparents and another relative about me leaving. I remember crying but not really sure why I was crying. I remember my biological mother telling me that we were going away for a while, I remember saying goodbye to all my friends in the neighborhood that I had made. Climbing into that car and pulling off was forever changing my life but at the time I didn't know it. We drove off and we drove for what seemed like forever, I remember I fell asleep and then woke up later and we still had not arrived at the destination. However when we did arrive, I remember it being a cloudy day and the day was chilly almost an eerie feeling, we walked into a building and up some steps and the first thing that I noticed was a room full of children. I remember my biological mother walking me into one of the rooms with other children and talking to me saying that she was going to be right outside the room. I remember children crying, some sleeping on the floor, some playing, some sitting off to the side by themselves as I had done. It was something new to me to be around so many kids, at the time I was the only child I had cousins but most were older than me, besides my first cousin whom was about two years younger than me, the only kids I knew of my age were friends whom lived at other locations. At this time I hadn't been in school because I was only four (4) at the time, so this was, to say the least, a new and interesting and overwhelming situation. My biological mother ended up leaving me there. I didn't realize it at first but after several hours and different situations of crying and being afraid I knew she was gone but couldn't understand it. I never got comfortable at the place, I assume it was a group home or a foster home but it was the scariest and most uncomfortable time. I was there for about 3 weeks from what I was told later after I became older and it was the longest time alone for me. I know it changed me, I had to fight and to learn to share, I had to look out for me and defend me an instinct I knew I never had before or maybe I did. However I was lucky, my biological mother returned for me and again with the same white lady and getting back into that same sky blue Volkswagen Beetle bug we were off again but this time I went to a foster home.
In January of 1977 I went to home in District Heights, MD in Prince Georges county right outside of Washington DC, and there is where I found my mother. Lydia Walker was a single mother of 4 girls, and a grandmother of 3 grand children, I was the first of many foster children and her first adopted child. The initial drop off was again something of a traumatizing situation for me, because in my mind when my biological mother had returned for me I was under the impression or I was hoping and wishing that we were going back to my grandparent's house and things were returning to normal, but here she was again telling me that I was going to be staying with these people for a little while until she came back for me. I can't say that I was able to comprehend everything that she was saying to me, but it was coming across clearly that she was leaving me again. I remember crying but not like before, instead of being hysterical and jumping around throwing a fit I remember sitting on the royal blue sectional couch almost frozen like ice and watched her and the white woman walk out the door, I don't even remember if she hugged me, kissed me or even said goodbye but it was goodbye. That was the last time I had saw my biological mother, until later in life.
I was fortunate to land in a good home, my mother Lydia Walker gave me everything that I needed and wanted from a mother. In fact my mother Lydia worked our situation with the white woman whom I would later find out was my case worker where I would continue to have a relationship with my biological mother's aunt and uncle who I referred to earlier as my grandparents and other relatives. Lydia and her daughters took me in with open arms and immediately treated me like the baby boy and like I was family. When I arrived at Lydia's house she wasn't home just 2 of her daughters and their children and I was real stand-offish, wouldn't get up off of that couch for nothing not even to go to the bathroom. My defense was up, and that had happened all because of my time at the group home, my sisters now relive the moment and tell me that I was mean and had a smart mouth that I didn't want their help or even them talking to me. I didn't play with the other little kids that were there, they said I sat on that couch for hours, until Lydia arrived. I don't know what it was, maybe just her maternal vibe coming off her but I immediately went to Lydia whom we all call "Ma". I instantly became a momma's boy and attached myself to Lydia whenever she was home and wherever she went. At first I didn't call her "Ma" I called her what the other little kids called her "Grand Ma" but in time that changed. Ma and I talk about it now, and she tells me it wasn't easy, I had a lot of sleepless nights from crying wanting my biological mother to return to me and take me HOME. During the day was cool because I started to get comfortable with the kids and with the others that lived there but the nights were the toughest.
Over the years of growing up I had a lot of emotional issues, related to me going into foster care and being adopted. At first I questioned, what did I do? What was wrong with me? Why did my mommy and daddy leave me with strangers and why aren't they coming back for me? When you're a child and you're dealing with other children you get the brutal honesty of what the other children are thinking or what they want to say. For kids in the neighborhood, they would ask questions straight up. Where did you come from? I/We lived around here for a while and all of sudden you just showed up? At first you say you're just visiting but your visit is becoming extended, then kids pick up on signs or they overhear adults talking and soon the truth is out with a twist. A kid hears that you are a foster kid and without any real knowledge of what a foster child is you get labeled an "orphan" or the outcast and kids are kids and they can be cruel and they say mean things and those words STING right at the core, because most of the time you're thinking exactly what the kids are saying to you. Nobody doesn't want me, I am an orphan and so on and so on. After a while time does move on, and as I said I was blessed to go into a Great home, with love and support. I was blessed to not have to bounce around from home to home or to have become such a troubled child that not even a good home would want to keep me so you're placed back into the group home. I was blessed to be able to keep in contact with what little biological family I did know. I was blessed to have Lydia want to adopt me and give me some stability and a foundation to call HOME, because every child doesn't get that.
In 1990 my biological mother had reached out to some relatives in Baltimore to try and locate me, my mother and I had just moved to Philadelphia, PA about a year earlier and I was gearing up to graduate from high school. I received a call from the relative and was informed that my biological mother wanted to get in touch with me, at that point I really didn't see the need to. I was a young man and the anger and hurt that I carried had formed and created a spot in my heart for her that wasn't trying to give her the time of day. If it wasn't for my mother and the fact that she is a spiritual woman I wouldn't have even made the call. I made the call and even I was surprised and the emotions that I let out while having the conversation with this woman after all those years, and I couldn't believe that I was arranging a meet and greet with this person. I had found out that she had moved to the mid-west, and that she had another son, and was married. I agreed to the meeting because my mother talked me into it, and secondly to give my biological mother the opportunity to tell her side of the story. I had heard different people's opinions of her, and how the relationship they had with her didn't work and I promised myself that I wouldn't allow that to effect me if I ever had the chance to meet her, and by giving her this opportunity to tell her side of the story I would be able to form my own opinion.
I can honestly say that I tried, I tried to give my biological mother the opportunity for us to have something but it didn't work. Her ways and lies I couldn't continue to let be a part of my life and rehash all types of old feelings. I had moved on, and what she wasn't willing to tell me truthfully I wouldn't even know. I've come to realize that it was a blessing in disguise, my life has turned out decent. I couldn't and wouldn't allow my biological mother to lie and hurt my sons the way she did me, my children have two wonderful grandmothers and protecting them from the hurt that I received is and will always be my number one priority. Now that I'm older and more mature, I have no more anger towards my biological mother. I've tried to build a relationship with my half brother but we haven't reached that point yet, and I look at it as if my biological mother got a second chance, something many people don't get. I got one and I'm thankful for it. Recently I began to search out my biological father, for various reasons but more so because of medical history. I'm a father and I have two sons and I don't know anything about either of my parents so I don't know what I could possibly be encountering down the line or what inheritable things I carry and could have passed along to my sons. The information I gathered was his birthday, which just passed in July making him now 58, I discovered that he also is married and has 3 other children two boys and a girl. Now that I'm an adult and have experienced some of life's situations I'm not even sure if he knows I exist or if he is indeed my biological father. I never had his last name, although on my birth certificate his name is there. I know that he resides in the Atlanta GA region, but that's where it stops.
Overall, today I can say because of me being a foster child and being adopted I believe I am a better man and a father to my two sons because of it and who knows where I could have been if things would have gone differently so I say I'm thankful to my biological mother and blessed and grateful to have Lydia a/k/a "Big Lyd / Ma" as my mother , I thank God for her everyday.
Enclosing, thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my journey with you. I hope that it gives someone inspiration to consider being a good foster parent or give some child hope that all is not lost because you are a foster child or have become adopted. Again I wish Mr.DMC much much continued success on his mission and personal journey.
-Reek-
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