Dear Mr. Darryl McDaniels,
I happened to catch your adoption journey tonight - Thank you for doing this! I am so happy for you that you found your birth mom. I am so happy you have made this documentary to help other adoptees... They need to understand mom's back then didn't have a choice really , not like today. Please share with everyone that birth mom's live a life empty with the loss of their child!
When I was 15 I became pregnant due to the times and lack of family (that's a story in itself) but keeping it short, even though the birth dad and I loved each other we were kids with no support. I found my son too late - he had commited suicide on 11/04/98- he was 27 yrs old.
I lost him twice...
I never married, never had children and suffered a lifetime over giving up my son. I am now 53 and trying to let things go. I did contact his b-dad and found out he never got over this either.
Adoption is heart breaking for all of us. I had a friend that helped me search for my son and she sent me this poem maybe you can share
this poem with the adoptees. Please it is so important they understand how moms HURT! Two birth mom's wrote this poem, I joined a group of b-mom's during my search and they write poems too.
I'd like to recommend a book "Primal Wound" by Nancy Newton Verrier- this can help us heal. Thanks for your good works!
GOD BLESS!
Diane
The day I left Catholic Charities
I walked out carrying the scars
of a struggle I dared not talk about...
well not then anyway.
Scars that framed my stomach
as a sorrowful reminder
for the rest of my life
of what I had loved and lost.
Scars on my heart
like a river gouged canyon
that changed the direction
of my life forever.
I walked out to a sun
that never warmed me,
a soul which had no rest
and a world which held no color.
Empty arms that beckoned
to hold that which had
been torn from them and
haunting, unrelenting dreams.
I walked out empty. I walked out void.
I had no voice. My emotions were sealed.
I went through the motions of life and
I fooled everyone - even me...
A twenty-five year slumber
of emotions only half felt
for fear of awakening a truth
that I was unable to face.
Somehow, I drew on a strength
that ran amid those scars
and realized that separation and denial
had made me live in a shadow world.
My child was gone.....
my spirit I had forfeited myself.
I reclaimed my life, stood tall
and needed to search.
I had found my son
but will I find myself again.
And now I search once again,
I search for the courage to heal
I search for the strength to go forward
once again, and
walk thru those doors
of Catholic Charities
to walk out whole
to walk out healed...
with a joy in my heart,
hope for the future and
a feeling of peace and harmony
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