Hi D,
My name is Deborah and I was also adopted. I grew up knowing I was adopted. I don't think it could have been kept a secret even if my parents wanted to. I'm white, and my family is Puerto Rican. I was raised and lived in Laurelton until I was 22 . I remember being 16 sitting on the Q5 taking the bus to school (Jamaica high) listening on my fake walkman, RunDMC's King of Rock. I would rewind it and listen to it over and over. My zone school was Jackson, but my mother requested I go to Jamaica, because she thought I'd get beat up if I went to Jackson. Growing up in Laurelton, being white, obese and adopted was not easy, but just as kids do, little by little I think I was accepted. I don't think I ever learned to accept myself though. I'm now 37 and I still feel like I don't belong. It's the worst feeling. I still feel a sense of rejection. I miss my old house, 223 st Laurelton, NY. It was my first home, my solace.. I have tried to search for my biological family.. but to no avail. I love my birthmother, even though I don't know her. I often wonder if she ever held me, or if she's still living, if she's ever thought of me the way I think of her. I crave the connection. I hate the feeling of having a knot in my throat, and a feeling of being disconnected.
Deborah
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