First of all I listened to Darryl's testimony in New Jersey for the adoptees thank you . I am from a small town in upstate New York . I am a birth mother and had a son in 1961 . I was sent away because of "The Family name would be tarnished", to have my son . It was not the greatest place to be MY son was born JANUARY 7 1961 ,he was beautiful . The nurse let me hold him and I made a promise to him that I would never forget him, and one day I would find him . I was sent back home after his birth , and was told not to talk about where I had been or that I had a child .My Family would not let me talk about my son at all , they told me that I could not keep him as I could not afford to take care of him i had no job . I was 17 yrs old . I went back to school and did not finish school layter got my Ged. I did not sign the papers to give him up until May of 1961 It was the Hardest thing I had ever done in my life . I was never promised any thing from the department of child welfare , all the wanted was for me to sign the papers so they could have MY Son .They the dept of child welfare told me that my son would not be adopted in the state of New York. I was told that if I did not sign the papers to have my son adopted that I could not return home ever , so I signed the papers . When I asked my parents about where my son was adopted they told me to forget him . I told them that I would never forget my son as he was of my blood and that one day I would find him.
DPT child welfare told me that the birth records would be sealed forever. I have 3 sisters and they always treated me like I was dirt and would not even talk to me about my son . I married in 1962 . I started my search by writing letters to dshs and never getting answers to my letters . I had 2 children in my marrage . I had told my x husband about my son I had given up and he made promises that he would help me find him (he my husband was an alcoholic ) He was in the navy . When he was gone out to sea that is when I would write my letters and send them out to search for my son . My x did not like the fact that I was searching for my son . When we moved I always hand carried my sons birth certificate with me so it would not get lost . I have been divorced since 1981. I raised my 2 children by my self . I continued with my search through the years with a lot of doors bening slammed in my face . It Has been a long journey .
In 1999 when I was back in New York as I lost my home in Washington st I stayed with my parents until I could find a place to live by my self and have a job this was a very hard time for me . While I was their I did some searching as that is where I gave my son up for adoption and hopefully I might be able to get some information I went to the court house and was told no I could not get any information as the records were sealed ,another door slamed in my face . I then wrote to Albany to see if I could get a copy of his birth certificate and was told no again . I kept writing my letters to no avail no answers . One morning my parents asked what I had planned and I said that I was goning to the county court house to see about getting some information on my son . My dad said "you don’t need to find that bastard child " I was so mad at what my father said I stood up and told him that my son was of my blood and I was goning to find him and when i did he would never meet him . I packed my things and left and moved in to my own place .A year layter I moved to Texas where my daughter was living stayed their for 2 years still writing my letters and not getting answers . We My daughter and I decided to come back to Washington state as we love it here . We both worked very hard and finally saved enough to get a computer . I found out through my research at the library that their were places to register to find my son , I was elated that their were places to help me in my search , at last .....
I first of all signed up with the New York state registry, then the Isrr registry I then registered on over 75 registeries Once a week I would check the sites to see if their was any messages . I kept searching by looking for his birth name and birth date , I kept coming up with no one by that name.
I searched by Birth date and got a lot of people by his birth date and wrote letters to all of them no one was a match . I was not goning to give up my search I was goning to find my son . In October 07 ,I was very ill and I told my daughter that I had to find my son before something happened . She agreed . I would go to my computer and check my mail , I still was not feeling very good yet . I was about to stop searching and stop for a while until I felt better. On Sunday November 4, 2007 , I received an Email from a volunteer searcher in up state New York and she said that she lived in Oneida co NY , and she said I believe that this name is your birth son . I sent her an email and said what should I do she said write him and and tell him you are writing to all males born on 1/7/1961 in the state of New York . So she sent me a form letter and I sat down and wrote to him ... On Novenber 7 . 2007 I had just gotten home from the store and was talking to my daughter and my Phone rang . Their was a young man on the other end and he said ,I am looking calling to speak with Betty Rosser , I said this is she and how can I help you ? He said I think I am your son , my name is Barry Abrams , I think my heart stopped ...I said how do you know ? He said this is the information that my adopted parents gave me . He told me the town I lived in my heritage German . , He also read his birth certificate to me and other information everything matched . Finally I found my son after searching for 46 years God is good and My dream has come true at last.
We talk every weekend and he said he was adopted in Oneonta NY. 10 miles from my home in Laurens NY he has lived in Richfield springs most of his life 15 miles from where I lived . (I had always had a gut feeling that he was adopted some where in the Cooperstown NY area ) he was . what is so amazing is when I was back in NY in 1999 I had gone to Ilion NY to visit a friend and I left to drive home and I stopped in Richfield springs at a store and made a purchase at the deli in the store . Well Barry told me that he worked at that store at that time and worked at the deli. I was blown away I didn’t even know that untill he told me. So close ....
I want to tell you that we did our Dna test and we received the results back yesterday and we are a match 99.999 we are so happy that was the comformation that we needed .We will be talking about a reunion Face to face in the future . He my son said thank you mom now I know where I came from I have a heritage and medical information. God is so good to us.
Darryl I think that with your testimony that you have helped so many people find the ones that they have loved and had to give up and now can be reunited at at last . As a birth mother I was not allow any kind of information at all about my son . That is just wrong . My child was denied his rights to know his heritage and medical information . We need to let the government know that this is so wrong Laws need to be changed and I will write to all the people in Ny state to ask them to open the records for our children. I will let you know when we will be doning our reunion it will be so great . I want to thank you for all you have done for the adoptees.
Sincerely
Betty R
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